I’m a card-carrying member of the Ex-Wives Club and no, I don’t own a gun. I’m a woman scorned, hurt and mistreated and I’ve lived to tell about it. I married and divorced the same man…TWICE! While that story deserves a post all its own, I’ll say that the last divorce was extremely difficult.
A second divorce wasn’t part of the plan, but life happened and my husband at the time let me down. Big time. I was caught off guard, completely blind-sided by the man who promised to love, honor and cherish me…TWICE. He lied…TWICE. The Other Woman called once.
One call was all it took to send my world and my life crumbling into a million little pieces. Anger. Resentment. Shock. Disappointment. Grief. I experienced every emotion imaginable. I could have filled the Grand Canyon with my tears. My children could’ve filled the ocean with theirs.
The road to divorce and life as a single mother was a rough one. It was filled with potholes and seemingly insurmountable obstacles. It was the most overwhelming, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing experience I’ve ever been through and let me tell you, I’ve been through some stuff!
As my shattered dreams began to fall around me and pull me under, I started writing again. This poem was written in May 2005, just a few months into The Separation and paints such a clear picture of the hopelessness I felt at the time.
Falling
Sitting helplessly, unable to move
Water falling, cascading down ancient cliffs
Lush, green, alive with memories of old
Its rivulets – tears streaming down my back
Caressing every part of me, drowning me in its sorrow
I succumb to its power
Its weight upon me now
Falling, falling
Drops – liquid diamonds, shapeless
Its liquid becoming one with my solid
Becoming one with my skin
I surrender, the sorrow pulling me down now
Its undercurrent relentless, unwilling to let go
Slipping helplessly under, unable to move
Swallowed, drowning in an eternity of sorrow
My solid becoming one with its liquid
Falling, falling
I succumb to its power
What felt like a life-shattering experience became a pivotal turning point in my life. I discovered my resilience, replaced bitterness with forgiveness, learned to laugh through my tears and came to the realization that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” -Philippians 4:13
The beauty of this heart-wrenching experience is that life goes on. See….
Psst…He’s the new husband, she’s the new baby and those are all of our kids. I love them so.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I am so glad that you found the real deal! Wow, married and divorced twice to the same guy. That’s serious pain. I’m so glad you’re a writer or you MIGHT own a gun
Wow – what a story. I believe that which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, and you are a shining example. Fabulous pictures!
Cybil´s last blog ..Tell Us About Your Trip
Powerful words. Congrats for picking yourself up and forging onward. That is what a real woman does.
Stopping by from Mama Kat’s today.
Tina Lane´s last blog ..Writer’s Workshop: Tough Talk for Bachelors
I’m glad you found happiness! Thanks for stopping by, your kids are cute!
Molly Doe´s last blog ..Conversations with Boys
Twitter: denisermt
March 4, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Sometimes it’s the most difficult situations from which we learn the most about life and ourselves. You are so blessed.
Run DMT´s last blog ..A Peaceful Journey
Wow, that’s so great you found someone new who will treat you right and you even had a baby with him! I’m happy for you! Great post
Somebody tweeted this post and I followed! Quite a story! Good for you! I’d have to say you got some MOXIE! ANd after this week over at my blog I’m starting to be an expert!!! LOL
Outrageous joy,
Kathy over at Everyday Bliss
http://www.blisspot.blogspot.com/
Kathy´s last blog ..Moxie can mean asking for a little help!
Hi- thank’s for dropping from Mama Kat’s and taking the time to write comments. I’m so sorry that one person let you down so badly, but am glad that it looks like everything worked out in the end. The teething pictures are fantastic.
Lizgizzy´s last blog ..Is It Over Yet?
So glad you found Mr. Right….the kids are absolutely beautiful!!
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