Dear Diastasis Symphysis Pubis: My Life Is So Much Better Without You

Dear Diastasis Symphysis Pubis:

You were such a party pooper during my last pregnancy and a major pain in the butt my hips, pelvis and abdomen. During my fifth month of pregnancy you crept into my body and took over, weakening the ligaments that held my pelvic joint together and causing said pelvic joint to gape open. You made it difficult to walk, sit, stand and turn over in bed. Heck, you caused me all kinds of grief and forced me to rely on a walker for assistance in getting around. Eventually you caused me so much pain that I found myself in a wheelchair and on painkillers…during what was supposed to be a wonderful pregnancy.

Thankfully you left my body three weeks after the birth of my daughter. Since you’ve been gone, my life has improved and I’m so much better off without you. Why? Because…

1. I can walk, run, skip and jump! Okay so I don’t necessarily do all those things, but it’s not because I can’t. It’s because I’m lazy.
2. I don’t have to ride the scooter at Wal-Mart anymore. I can shop like a normal person and get in and out of there in 10 minutes flat. No more geriatric scooters moving at a snail’s pace for me.
3. I’m invisible. That’s right, no more creepy stares from rude people wondering what the heck a pregnant woman could’ve done to resort in her having to use a walker.
4. No more lying in bed all day. Lounging in bed all day is totally overrated when you’re forced to do it and have a family that you’d rather be spending time with. I’m so glad that I’m no longer holed up in my room with my feet up in bed.
5. I don’t moan in public anymore. Getting in and out of the car is no longer a painful experience. Until you came along, I never thought about the muscles or strength it took to do the simplest of things like getting in and out of a car. I have a newfound appreciation for my body and all that it can do. And thankfully, I don’t scream or moan in pain while climbing into or sliding out of the car anymore.
6. No more mismatched accessories. Let’s face it, my walker never matched my outfit. It was the one accessory that never jived with the rest of my ensemble. Blue doesn’t go with everything, you know.
7. I can cook again! For six months, my husband was forced to cook, clean and care for everyone in our home, including me. The poor guy worked all day, came home and cooked dinner every single night. Do you know how hard that is for a newly-married guy who really doesn’t know how to cook, but instead heats stuff up? I’m happy to say that fish sticks and macaroni and cheese are no longer regular staples in our household. We rarely eat convenience foods these days.
8. I can do the funky chicken. I won’t, but I could if I wanted to.
9. I can finally shave my own legs! I’m not going to lie. I rarely shave my legs these days, but it’s not because I can’t. It’s cold, I’m lazy and it’s just not a priority for me – so too bad.
10. I can have sex like a normal person again. I’m not expanding on that one. We’ll just leave it at that.

So, goodbye Diastasis Pubis! I’m over you. Go bug someone else.

Since this post was originally written, I found a great article over at Healthy Moms that goes a little more in depth about Diastasis Symphysis Pubis. Please head on over to their site to read more.

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Tagged as: Health, Pregnancy Complications, Writer's Workshop