A Public Service Announcement Courtesy of Moi:

There’s a new breed of criminals on the loose and they’re coming to a neighborhood near you. They creep in undetected, eat your snacks, leave cans of Coke in the freezer…

…And unload disgustingly huge piles of dirty clothes in the laundry room.

Tell your family and your friends. Alert your local Neighborhood Watch. Lock all the doors at night. And for goodness sake, check your freezer before you go to bed.

I hate cockroaches – even the fake ones. Don’t you?

Is your husband driving you nuts? Does your boss get under your skin? Welcome to “OH NO HE DIDN’T!” Tuesday, your come-and-tell-us-all-about-it headquarters! Let’s get this party started…

My husband has said and done some really stupid things in the past. Remember the time he butchered my azaleas? And the time he said that I have cankles? Ugh, and who could forget the time he farted in the van on a super hot day and said “take it like a good wife”?

So what’s he gone and done this time? Well…

If you haven’t already heard, Georgia and I don’t like each other. We moved here from Kentucky a year ago and I’ve been miserable since. I’m totally the one to blame. Georgia never really did anything to me so I’ll let the peaches off the hook.

In any case, my husband has always wanted nothing more than to make me happy. And he’s tried to do just that. He’s exhaustively applied for new positions around the country for several months now. We’ve hoped and prayed and waited. And waited. And waited.

A few days ago, he was offered a position in Missouri and he jumped at the opportunity.

OH NO HE DIDN’T! (Oh yes girl, he did. And I’m beyond excited!)

We’re going from misery to Missouri in a matter of weeks and we are beyond thrilled.

Dear Georgia…

I don’t like you, but it’s not all your fault. Truthfully, I really didn’t give you a chance.

You see, last summer my husband got a promotion with the government agency he works for. Unfortunately, that promotion required us to leave our wonderful home in Brandenburg, Kentucky.

The small town of Brandenburg is filled with kind, welcoming folks. Those welcoming folks took us in as one of their own and we built a wonderful life there. But it’s not just that.

In Brandenburg, Kentucky…

I felt safe enough to leave my doors and windows unlocked at night.

I knew all of my children’s teachers. I also knew their spouses, children and their parents.

I formed life-long friendships that will never be replaced.

I survived a painful divorce.

I became a single mother.

My children and I found a church home – one that welcomed us in with open arms.

I found myself. Really found myself.

I learned to play softball courtesy of our church’s softball team.

I learned that I suck at softball.

I met and fell in love with my husband on the softball field one hot summer evening.

Eight months later, we got married. In our little white church. The one with our pew.

And, we welcomed our sweet little girl into the world.

So, please forgive me for every. little. thing. I’ve held against you over the last 12 months. You deserved a fair shot and I never really gave it you. I guess I got so caught up in longing for the life I left behind, that I forgot to live the one that was right here waiting for me. In Georgia.

I know, I suck.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.