"OH NO HE DIDN'T!" Tuesday: "Take It Like A Good Wife"

“OH NO HE DIDN’T!” Tuesday: “Take It Like A Good Wife”

Men say and do stupid stuff sometimes. Welcome to “OH NO HE DIDN’T!” Tuesday, your come-and-tell-us-all-about-it headquarters! Let’s get this party started…

Spending quality time with my husband sans kids is extremely important to me. It’s not lost on me that marriages often crumble once children leave the nest. Apparently all of that alone time together can drive a couple crazy. Strengthening our relationship and friendship today is important as it’ll carry us over into the later years.

With that said, we had a wonderful mini-date this weekend. Following are a few of the blissful highlights. Try not to be jealous.

We had a few errands to run, the first of which involved heading to Barnes & Noble. On the way over he farted in the van. With the windows up. On a hot, muggy day.

OH NO HE DIDN’T! (Oh yes girl, he did.)

I screamed. I gagged.

He laughed and said, “Take it like a good wife. Smell it. Take it in.”

OH NO HE DIDN’T! (Oh yes girl, he did.)

My gullet is still recovering from the second degree burns that I suffered when I swallowed his fart air. Stop laughing.

Surprisingly I survived the whole ordeal and we arrived at Barnes & Noble in one piece. As my husband and I perused our way through the book store, I turned to him and said “Honey, I love you.” He looked back at me, smiled and said, “I moderately have feelings for you.”

OH NO HE DIDN’T! (Oh yes girl, he did.)

You know, while walking through Barnes & Noble we noticed there was an abundance of books that offered advice and quick fixes to saving your marriage. There were several people leafing through those books.

I wondered in silence if they were hurting. But my husband - being the sensitive man that he is - turned to me and said, “Pshht! Who wants to save a marriage? I’m going to write The Guide to Sabotaging Your Marriage.”

OH NO HE DIDN’T! (Oh yes girl, he did.)

I’m pretty sure that The Guide to Sabotaging Your Marriage will include a few precious gems like…annihilating your wife’s azaleas with pruning shears and gasoline, demanding that your wife fix you “some bloody eggs” and who can forget my favorite – telling your wife that she has cankles.

Yes folks. I’m married to this man and apparently he loves me, even if it’s just moderately.

Tags: Humor, Marriage, OH NO HE DIDN'T! TUESDAY, Word Up YO!

42 Responses to ““OH NO HE DIDN’T!” Tuesday: “Take It Like A Good Wife””

Amanda's Thoughts (4 comments)

oh my sounds interesting
Amanda’s Thoughts´s last blog post – I Heart Faces:Babies

Tweets that mention "OH NO HE DIDN'T!" Tuesday: "Take It Like A Good Wife" | Live and Love...Out Loud -- Topsy.com (872 comments)

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Alana, Kristi Bonney. Kristi Bonney said: "OH NO HE DIDN'T!" Tuesday: "Take It Like A Good Wife" http://liveandloveoutloud.com/archives/2795 Come & link up! [...]

alicia (233 comments) twitter: @projectalicia

Laughing my head off over here at like almost 1AM in the wee hours… girl, you have a gift!! That was hilarious!! Perhaps it’s because I can so empathize. Men can be such gross and insensitive pigs sometimes. My husband has told me not once, but twice today that I’m a “crazy old woman”- I called him out and he tried to deny it. Yeah, not happening. NO weasling his way out of this one so fast. He must suffer. And remember WHY.

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

Haha! You’ve gotta love these men. They’re missing that sensitivity chip in their brains or something. It’s like they don’t think before they speak. lol I’m glad my hubby isn’t the only one afflicted with this disease. lol Thanks for stopping by again Lish.

Tracy (AKA The Mayor!) (29 comments) twitter: @CTMayor

My husband can write the forward, the intro, & more than a few chapters in THAT book!! Happy ONHD Tuesday LOL!
Tracy (AKA The Mayor!)´s last blog post – My Heart Weeps For The Future…

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

Haha! I believe you. I’ve read your OH NO HE DIDN’T! posts and he could definitely write that book, as can my hubby! lol Thanks for stopping by Tracy. Have a great day.

Lynn from For Love or Funny (15 comments)

You made me laugh out loud today!
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog post – I’ve got a crush on my kid’s teacher

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

Woohoo! I made the funny lady laugh. Thanks for stopping by Lynn.

liz (155 comments)

Oh.My.GOD!!!! “smell it. take it in?!?!?!”

honestly, i don’t know why i’m surprised because craig would do and say the same darn thing!

LOVE that you worked in the WOW! again! you rock!
liz´s last blog post – On Having Gypsy Blood

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

Haha! “Smell it. Take it in.” is from a stupid scene in Family Guy. lol And yes, my husband really said that. I swear, sometimes you just have to laugh about some of this stuff. lol Thanks for stopping by Liz. Looks like your WOW meme is a success! Congratulations.

shell (22 comments) twitter: @shellthings

I really need to remember to write down more of dh’s nonsense so I can play along. I usually have at least one gem….last week was the worst b/c he was sick…though, those might make people sick if they read them. LOL

The farting thing- our husbands must be related. Mine is proud of his gas.

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

Haha! I’ll let my hubby know that he has a long lost brother. You can always play along next week! Thanks for stopping by.

Sarah (1 comments)

Haha! I love it! That made me laugh out loud

Kiki (16 comments) twitter: @ktlaing

Krista,

Hello there lovely – you are most welcome for the award and BTW, you absolutely deserve it!! Love your blog and your spirit!! Ok, so here I am at my very first official Oh No He Didn’t Tuesday!! Loving It!!

XOXO
Kiki
Kiki´s last blog post – Mr. X: Oh No You Didn’t…..Again!

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

Thanks Kiki! I’m so glad that you decided to play along with OH NO HE DIDN’T! Tuesday. I’ve ben running it for about two months now and it’s been tons of fun. I hope you’ll consider playing along again next week. Thanks so much for stopping by. Hope you’re having a fabulous day.

Pamela (118 comments) twitter: @lotsOspermies

These quotes are absolutely priceless. I have to say, if this were my husband and I instead of you and yours…. I would be in the position of your husband. Sick, I know.

If I weren’t so mad at my hubs today, I’d participate. I’m afraid if I started writing a post today about HIM, I’d be committed.
Pamela´s last blog post – Post-It Note Tuesday – - A Play on Words

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

Haha! You crack me up Pamela! As upset as you sound, maybe it’s a good idea that you didn’t throw the hubby under the “OH NO HE DIDN’T!” bus today. lol Thanks so much for stopping by again. Have a great day.

Ms. Understood (12 comments)

Your husband cracks me up. He seems to have an off the wall kinda sense of humor. Way to use the WOW again. Nice. If it helps, as I was typing, my yorkie, who plants himself in front of the fan while lying on my pillows just fart and the fan blew it right at me.
Ms. Understood´s last blog post – He broke my heart when I was 9

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

My hubby totally has an off-the-wall sense of humor. “Smell it, take it like a good wife” came from an episode of Family Guy. lol As for the farting Yorkie…ewww! lol It’s a good thing he’s a cute little Yorkie. It’s easy to overlook those kind of things when you have a cute little dog. Not so much when it’s a husband. lol Thanks for stopping by again. Have a great night Ms. Understood.

Our Sentiments (9 comments) twitter: @oursentiments

Oh man can you write things and not be negative! You have a gift!
Our Sentiments´s last blog post – Oh, No He Didn’t Tuesday

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

Aww, thanks! I try. I figure you might as well find something to laugh about. Thanks for stopping by and playing along with OH NO HE DIDN’T! Tuesday.

Ian (1 comments)

Over from the Scoop on Poop. Nice. Can I play along? I have some a**hole friends I can call out.
Ian´s last blog post – Can you change?

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

By all means Ian, play along. The more, the merrier!

The Drama Mama (145 comments) twitter: @writesidemama

Tears are rolling from my eyes this is so funny. Especially the farting part, and then you say “Stop laughing”. That made me snort. And if it makes me snort? That’s some good poop right there. Hahaha. Excellent post.

Momma Drama (15 comments) twitter: @mmdrama

sounds like our husband’s were seperated at birth… why do they do that? I don’t get it – why is it fun to embarass someone else, who you love and adore?? And the farting… oh, I hate it – hubby gets the biggest kick out of it and has taught my almost 3 year old that it’s the best thing in the world as well… gross…
Momma Drama´s last blog post – Corn on the Cob Anyone?

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

He’s passing the farting pride on to your 3 year old? OH NO HE DIDN’T! What is with these men? They continue to baffle me. lol Thanks for stopping by Momma.

Stacey (59 comments)

LOL I think our husbands are moderately related! That is SOOOO something he would do!

Buckeroomama (91 comments) twitter: @Buckeroomama

Sounds like something my hubby would say! Times like those I am just torn between bonking him on the head and just throw my head back and laugh my heart out. That is part of his charm… and part of why I fell in love with him, I guess.
Buckeroomama´s last blog post – Noooooodles

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

I’d totally settle for bonking him on the head, then I’d throw my head back and laugh. lol Thanks for stopping by Buckeroomama. Have a fabulous evening.

Mrs.Mayhem (35 comments) twitter: @motheringmayhem

Love, love, love this idea! My first time visiting here. You obviously have a flair for writing. Thanks for the laugh!

shmonae (1 comments)

You know, my hubby was adopted and I quite sure he is your hubbies brother…just sayin’ I ALWAYS have to ask him why he MUST fart in the car right before we get out to meet people. “Hi, we are the Moss’ and we smell like sh*%!” Some other WRONG places to fart that my hubby doesn’t get..?
When you are taking a shower together with the door closed
In the parking lot or store with people around
On the phone, YES they can hear that!
I could keep going but we need to have a fart class for theses dudes…

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

Haha! You totally cracked me up. Thanks so much for stopping by and bringing a smile to my face. Have a great day.

KLZ (64 comments) twitter: @TamingInsanity

I swear that my husband’s farts are like fire. They physically hurt me.

How does his stomach survive?
KLZ´s last blog post – Word Up, Yo!

Amy (3 comments) twitter: @familytrifecta

That was hilarious and I have a feeling our husbands would so get a long!
Amy´s last blog post – We believe in “Boys Night Out”

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The phrase “take it like a good wife” turns this post into pure comedy gold.

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