No one likes a pesky neighbor…

Men say and do stupid stuff sometimes. Welcome to “OH NO HE DIDN’T!” Tuesday, your come-and-tell-us-all-about-it headquarters! Let’s get this party started…

If you’re a regular here then you’ll recall that my husband volunteered to work through Father’s Day weekend, forfeiting his days off.

OH NO HE DIDN’T! (Oh yes girl, he did.)

I can’t tell you how much I looked forward to our family finally spending quality time together last weekend. I had grandiose plans of sleeping in on Saturday morning followed by a lunch date with the hubby. Let me tell you folks, it was my saving grace – the one thing that kept me afloat while dealing with the kids all week.

Until my husband called on Friday afternoon to inform me that he agreed to work on Saturday.

OH NO HE DIDN’T! (Oh yes girl, he did.)

He spent most of Sunday - his only day off and our only day with him – catching up on some much-needed rest while I continued to deal with the kids. All day.

OH NO HE DIDN’T! (Oh yes girl, he did.)

I’m not bitter. I’m not bitter. I’m not bitter.

I don’t know what it is about this summer heat, but I’m having a major snack attack!

I have NOT had a serious case of the munchies lately.

I did NOT devour three bags of gummy bears, 5 pieces of cornbread and enough Coke to destroy my stomach lining for good.

I’m super healthy, super fit and NEVER, ever eat junk food.

Nope, NOT me.

In other news…

I am NOT editing the original version of this post which was published 10 hours ago. It’s just your imagination.

This stray dog has NOT been living under our back deck and in the woods around our home for the past week.

I have NOT called Animal Control out twice to remove this super adorable mongrel.

He is NOT aggressive and he certainly did NOT lunge at the Animal Control officers.

He did NOT elude Animal Control by running off into the woods.

My 7 year old daughter Amaya has NOT been hoping for the dog’s return. She did NOT name him Luke and she does NOT want to keep him.

She is NOT out of her mind!

So tell me… What have you NOT been up to?

I’ve been on Twitter for over a year now and it’s been one heck of a ride. I’ve sent 5,915 tweets to date and I’m just getting started. Though I’ve met so many wonderful new people, I’ve got a bone to pick with some of you.

You’re getting on my nerves and everyone else’s. Stop the madness and get with the program. On behalf of annoyed Twitter users everywhere, I present the following list of annoying tweets:

5.   Don’t bother to TwitLonger. There’s a character limit in place for a reason. No one wants to read your lengthy tweets. If 140 characters aren’t enough, take it to Facebook. They’ve got a longer attention span.

4.   For goodness sake, turn off the horoscope alerts. Okay so you believe in astrology, the alignment of stars, lucky numbers… Whatever. Congratulations. Now could you please turn those pesky alerts off?

3.   Stop complaining. All you do is whine. You’re a total downer and I’m over it. Shut up or I’m totally unfollowing you.

2.   Who cares if you have diarrhea? I don’t want to know about it. Let me tell you something, the TMI is so not LOL.

1.   Quit it with Four Square already. Look, I don’t want to know where you are every second of the day. Just go to your OBGYN appointment already. You can tweet your little heart out later. When you’re done. Preferably after you’ve showered.

Wanna know what I’m up to every minute of the day? Follow me on Twitter. I promise to keep all future OBGYN appointments under wraps.

But before you go, I’m dying to know…

What are some of your Twitter pet peeves? I’m all ears.

It’s so hot out there, even the bugs are going for a swim!