I’m a happily married mother of four. I have a wonderful husband who loves me more than I probably deserve, but five years ago it was a different story.

In 2005, I was blind-sided by the discovery of being cheated on by my spouse at the time. A painful divorce followed and I found myself scared and alone; a single mother living in Kentucky with my three children – thousands of miles from the island I called home.

You know, the funny thing is when you go through something as painful as divorce and actually live through it - it doesn’t kill you by the way, trust me – you become someone else. At least I did. I had no choice, really. Becoming someone else meant that I could make it through each uncertain day unscathed.

The problem with becoming someone else - changing who you are and how you live and love in order to survive – is that falling in love again will turn your world upside down.

Learning to Let Love in: I Needed to Change

Eventually I learned that in order to let love in again, I needed to change. I couldn’t continue living the way I had – in fear and completely guarded. Because you know what? The same set of rules you live by when you’re just trying to make it from one day to the next without coming undone, work against you when you’re trying to move on and let love in. I had to un-learn the crazy set of rules that I lived by and it wasn’t easy.

• I carried the weight of the world on my own for so long that it became second nature. Learning to let my husband carry part of the load was difficult for me to do. I’d gotten so used to carrying the burden on my own that the concept of leaning on someone was foreign to me.
• As a single parent, I grew accustomed to discipline/parenting on my own. I set the boundaries and limitations. I was in charge - until my husband came into our lives, that is. Learning to step down and move aside, allowing him to parent along with me was a huge adjustment to make. Truth be told, I still struggle with this at times.
• For years my heart remained guarded, shielded from feeling anything close to love. Sure I’d dated and maybe even felt something for a few of the men I’d gone out with but the fact of the matter is, I’d closed my heart to anyone worthy of being loved. Enter George, my knight in shining armour. Opening up and letting love in is a scary thing, but allowing it to grow and take hold of every part of me was worth it. My heart is in my husband’s hands and there it’ll forever be.

George and I have been married for over two years now. We have three children from my previous marriage and last April we had a beautiful little girl. I’ve finally learned to let love in once more and I continue to be reminded of its blessings each and every day.

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Tags: Divorce, Love, Marriage, Writer's Workshop