I’m a card-carrying member of the Ex-Wives Club and no, I don’t own a gun. I’m a woman scorned, hurt and mistreated and I’ve lived to tell about it. I married and divorced the same man…TWICE! While that story deserves a post all its own, I’ll say that the last divorce was extremely difficult.

A second divorce wasn’t part of the plan, but life happened and my husband at the time let me down. Big time. I was caught off guard, completely blind-sided by the man who promised to love, honor and cherish me…TWICE. He lied…TWICE. The Other Woman called once.

One call was all it took to send my world and my life crumbling into a million little pieces. Anger. Resentment. Shock. Disappointment. Grief. I experienced every emotion imaginable. I could have filled the Grand Canyon with my tears. My children could’ve filled the ocean with theirs.

The road to divorce and life as a single mother was a rough one. It was filled with potholes and seemingly insurmountable obstacles. It was the most overwhelming, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing experience I’ve ever been through and let me tell you, I’ve been through some stuff!

As my shattered dreams began to fall around me and pull me under, I started writing again. This poem was written in May 2005, just a few months into The Separation and paints such a clear picture of the hopelessness I felt at the time.

Falling

Sitting helplessly, unable to move
Water falling, cascading down ancient cliffs
Lush, green, alive with memories of old
Its rivulets – tears streaming down my back
Caressing every part of me, drowning me in its sorrow
I succumb to its power
Its weight upon me now
Falling, falling
Drops – liquid diamonds, shapeless
Its liquid becoming one with my solid
Becoming one with my skin
I surrender, the sorrow pulling me down now
Its undercurrent relentless, unwilling to let go
Slipping helplessly under, unable to move
Swallowed, drowning in an eternity of sorrow
My solid becoming one with its liquid
Falling, falling
I succumb to its power

What felt like a life-shattering experience became a pivotal turning point in my life. I discovered my resilience, replaced bitterness with forgiveness, learned to laugh through my tears and came to the realization that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” -Philippians 4:13  

The beauty of this heart-wrenching experience is that life goes on. See….

Psst…He’s the new husband, she’s the new baby and those are all of our kids. I love them so.

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Tags: Divorce, Marriage, Writer's Workshop