"Mom, When Are Babies Supposed to Stop Breastfeeding?" - A Conversation With My 14-Year Old Son

“Mom, When Are Babies Supposed to Stop Breastfeeding?” – A Conversation With My 14-Year Old Son

baby sister, big brother, holding baby, photos of big brothers, photo of big brother, brothers and sisters, siblings, meeting baby for the first time

Andre, holding his baby sister for the first time.

I’ve had the pleasure of nursing my daughter Alana for 11 months and counting and I’ve gotta tell you, I love breastfeeding! Here in our home, nursing is a normal part of life. I’ve educated my children as to the benefits of breastfeeding and we’ve had many conversations about it. By nature, children are extremely curious so I wasn’t the least bit surprised when my 14-year old son Andre questioned me about weaning a baby from the breast. (However, I was surprised that he spoke to me in public. You see, I’m “The Mom”. I’m not supposed to talk to him in public!)

The conversation took place in the baby food aisle in Wal-Mart and went something like this:

Andre: Mom, when is a baby supposed to stop breastfeeding?

Me: Well, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies continue to be breastfed for at least twelve months and the World Health Organization recommends that babies continue to be breastfed for the first two years.

Andre: Whoa! But I thought maybe you’re supposed to stop when the baby has teeth.

(Alana officially has two teeth on the bottom and is on the verge of sporting two new teeth up top any day now!)

Me: Nope. Having teeth has nothing to do with when a mother should wean her baby. I mean, it hurts when baby bites. You know that. You’ve heard me scream when Alana bites me. But anyway, it’s possible to continue breastfeeding even when babies have teeth.

(Okay let me stop right here and just say that yes, my sweet baby bites me from time to time. In fact, she bit, scratched and pinched me! It was horrible – so horrible in fact that I became bitter about breastfeeding. Thankfully, we’ve gotten a grip on her terrible manners and all is well in the land of breastfeeding!)

Andre: So when is Alana gonna stop breastfeeding?

Me: Well, my plan is to breastfeed until her first birthday. After that, I’ll leave it up to her. I want her to breastfeed for at least two years, but I’m not going to force her. I think it’s best if mothers and babies decide when they’re ready to stop. Why? Were you hoping I’d stop breastfeeding Alana soon?

Andre: No. I was just curious, that’s all.

Me: Oh. Okay.

Little moments like these are very special to me. Being a role model to my children is something I take pretty seriously. Breastfeeding is a part of that. I desperately want my daughters to consider nursing their babies when they become mothers and I’d love for my son to encourage his wife to breastfeed their children as well. Engaging your child in conversations about breastfeeding is a great way to normalize it and remove the negative stigma that exists in today’s society. To read more about my adventures in breastfeeding, click on the Breastfeeding tab at the top of the page!

So tell me…Children are curious by nature. What observations have your children made about breastfeeding? What type of impact, if any, has breastfeeding had in your household?

Tags: Motherhood, Teenagers

19 Responses to ““Mom, When Are Babies Supposed to Stop Breastfeeding?” – A Conversation With My 14-Year Old Son”

Melodie (9 comments) twitter: @bfmom

What a great post! I love it. Talking to teenagers and normalizing breastfeeding for them is so important. I’m especially impressed that he was the one who asked you!! But then, breastfeeding in front of teenagers is the first step towards making them more comfortable and that’s obviously a given here. I have a 16 year old step son who has been around to watch me breastfeed since he was 11. I love that he is exposed to it and comfortable around me. I know it will go a long way to making him more comfortable about the possibility of his partner nursing his own kids in the years to come.
.-= Melodie´s last blog ..Poll: How Old is Your Nursling? =-.

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

@Melodie,
I applaud you for being such a great breastfeeding role model to your teenage stepson! Sounds like you’re doing an awesome job when it comes to normalizing breastfeeding. By the way, I’ve been following you on Twitter for some time now.

Crystal Gold (2 comments)

I nursed M until he was 30 months so he still remembers it clearly (he will be 4 in June). I have always talked about Breastfeeding as if it is just the absolute norm. We went to see new baby pigs and I took that opportunity to talk about how other animals also feed their babies that way. We talk about it when we see babies. He has told me a few times that he misses it. And we have talked numerous times about how a new baby would spend lots of time nursing and being held by mommy. His response? ” that ok. I snuggle daddy then”. Love it!
This is a great post. Thanks for sharing!
.-= Crystal Gold´s last blog ..Goodbye dear friend =-.

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

@Crystal Gold,
That is so amazing that your son remembers being breastfed! I’ve been nursing my daughter for 11 months and this is a record for me. I certainly hope that she’ll continue to nurse long enough to be able to carry that memory with her. It’s so great that you’ve incorporated animals caring for their babies into a dialogue about breastfeeding. We’ve done that around here with our 7-year old also! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting on my post.

Karen (1 comments)

When my daughter was in daycare, between 12 weeks and 13 months, our routine was always that I would walk in around 5:10, sit down on the couch, and nurse her before we left. The preschoolers there were all very interested. They would come over, ask what she was doing, try to look closer, etc. “she drikin mik!” one would say over and over. Another was convinced it was “pretend milk” no matter what I said. The little boy just a few months older than Sam, he was weaned around 12 months, and I swear he was trying to sample the goods a couple of times . I know they were young, but I hope I planted some positive breastfeeding seeds in their little minds

Our Sentiments (9 comments) twitter: @oursentiments

Karen, you are! I remember my first breastfeeding experience and luckly it did not cross my mind until K was a bit older. My Aunt came over and nursed her son in the chair and I was amazed. I never saw that. My Uncle who was coming down the hall, thought I was being dirty and welted my bottom. I was 4 when this happened, maybe older than the children you are talking about. Children remember.
Our Sentiments´s last blog post – Evolution of The Christmas Tree

Tanya (2 comments)

How sweet are they?! I breastfed all 5 of my children until they were at least 12 months. Some chose to breastfeed longer, some went straight to the cup! My youngest Leila was my last, and I truly miss it;o( I’m sure I do more than her;o) I was very open with my children about breastfeeding and all the benifits that come along with it. It’s great that you talk to your children about it!

~Tanya

Hyacynth (1 comments)

I just love that you are educating your teen son; it will stick with him and hopefully he’ll be a great encouragement to his future spouse!
My 2.5 year old will tell me when the baby cries that the baby needs “mommy milk” to feel better. I love that we talk about nursing so often. He doesn’t remember much about his own nursing because he weaned at 18 months during my pregnancy.
Great post!

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

@Hyacynth,
How great that your older son gets to “experience” breastfeeding via the nursing you do with your youngest. It’s wonderful that he’s able to actually see it in action and how sweet it is it that he’s looking out for baby’s hunger cues! lol

Annie @ PhD in Parenting (1 comments) twitter: @phdinparenting

What a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing.
.-= Annie @ PhD in Parenting´s last blog ..A day in the life of marginalizing “fringe groups” in Canada =-.

Charity Adams (1 comments)

I nursed each of mine for 12 months. By the third kid everyone pretty much knew when the Bow Bees would be coming out. My kids didn’t know any other way. They were always surprised to see other babies with bottles because we never had any at our house. Now that they are older I think the openness we had then made way for some of the really tough talks we are having now about boys and girls, the birds and the bees. I applaud any mom who can breast feed and can continue while their families are comfortable with it.

Run DMT (113 comments) twitter: @denisermt

Great post! I breastfed my oldest, Allana- , for 3 years. I remember her asking for mommy milk in the middle of Wal-Mart. Talk about negative stigma in society! I only stopped when I became pregnant with my second child. When she was born, Allana pretended to nurse her babies. It was so sweet.

We’ve already talked about breastfeeding #3 with the girls. They think that’s just what moms do.
.-= Run DMT´s last blog ..Missed the Boat =-.

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

@Run DMT,
You have an “Alana” too?!? How awesome! I’m really hoping that my Alana will continue to nurse long enough that she’ll be able to ask for it on her own. Thanks so much for commenting!

Vanessa (2 comments)

Wow! What an absolutely precious story. You can be so proud of your son and yourself for breastfeeding as long as you have. I too extend breastfeed and I do it for my girls.

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

@Vanessa,
Congratulations on choosing to do extended breastfeeding. I think that is absolutely awesome!

Vanessa (2 comments)

@Kristi, if you have some time to do extra reading, read my two posts about extended breastfeeding here:

http://jewelsandtreasures.blogspot.com/2010/02/bittersweet-goodbye.html

http://jewelsandtreasures.blogspot.com/2010/02/you-what.html

The first is a weaning letter to my oldest daughter who just recently weaned. The second is an explanation on the benefits of extended breastfeeding and why I did it.

And if you just don’t feel like reading those, or don’t have time…just enjoy the time you have left breastfeeding. It is so precious and goes so quickly!

Kristi (3460 comments) twitter: @TweetingMama

@Vanessa,
Are you kidding? I’ll definitely make my way over to your blog to read those posts. It may have to wait til tomorrow though. Thanks again!

Lucretia Cottle (1 comments)

Great post!.

Andrea (1 comments)

@Krisit,
What a great story!!! I think its great that you enjoy breastfeeding so much! I have twins that are a 11 months old and I plan to breastfeed till their 12 months old. I have 2 older children which are 7 and 5 and my lifestyle is really crazy busy! I really have enjoyed breastfeeding all of my children and being that the twins are the last time that I plan to have children, I have really tried to soak all this up! However, I do tend to get frustrated by the comments that I receive from my family. They have already started asking me if I am starting to wean the babies from the breast to a cup. The majority of the comments come from my husband’s side of the family and they ask me just about everytime I see them or hear from them (which is weekly). We all lead very different lifestyles and I’m not saying one is better than the other, but I just grow very tired of the comments! My husband tells me that I need to just let this go and move on, but I’m quickly reminded of it everytime I see or hear from them.